found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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