Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
