gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
