The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I need to sanitize my soul.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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