Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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