Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
