Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
