I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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