don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
