I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
