covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
