I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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