Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
