and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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