There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
