in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize