so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
