Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
