don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
