just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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