That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
