Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
