I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
