yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize