Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
