i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize