what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
