I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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