I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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