Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
