Im at strip club and am horny
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
