Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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