This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
