apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Panties = found
Randomize
