You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize