FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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