Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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