i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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