12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
