Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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