that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This is the high leading the old right now
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
