hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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