no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize