I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
