Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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