You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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