No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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