I'm passing your future prison.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
