i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
pray to the hookup gods
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
