K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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