But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
