im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
