no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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