you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
