Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
