i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
