If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it was like eating out sand paper
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
