goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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