just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Come share oat with me in your robe
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
