you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize