i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
