I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So many bounce houses so little time
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
