i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
