Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
