whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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