This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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