like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
